doing things, reading, and the queen
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~ July is usually a busy month for me with the flurry of birthdays, graduation parties and get togethers. I was recently on a PD group call where a person described her difficulties with making plans to do things with others, because often when the time comes to do them, she is too fatigued or not feeling up it.
I think that feeling is pretty common to some degree when you have PD. Our physical and mental hour by hour ups and downs can make it challenging on some days to do anything. With all the events this month, although I’m grateful to be a part of the many happy occasions, it can be a challenge. So I’ve come up with a few thoughts that I go through, that help me manage those situations.
Just say no. It’s OK. There are many things that won’t make any difference to you or anyone else if you don’t attend. Don’t put it off by saying I’ll get back to you or let me look at my schedule. Just say thank you but I can’t make it and be done with it.
You’re not thrilled about going, but it’s important for you or someone you know that you attend. This is where you implement the “if I can’t get out of it, get into it” strategy. Don’t say yes and then complain to yourself or others about having to go. Think about someone that will be there that you look forward to catching up with, something you might learn from it, some new place you haven’t been to, or some food that you’re looking forward to try.
Don’t plan it. Not everything needs to be planned. If you’re feeling good, call someone and see if they want to go for a walk or grab a coffee, or anything that you’re up for right then. Now realize that this is a numbers game because others might be busy, but who cares. And if you explain to them beforehand that you want to capitalize on the moments you feel good, and would they be open to last minute requests if they’re free and who knows, they might also want to do the same with you.
My mom is great at this. She gets an idea to do something and she want’s to do it now, and it’s fun to get that phone call from her. I think it’s also a fun practice to be a little more spontaneous.
Push yourself. Or maybe nudge is better. I find once I start something, I’ll get the energy and focus and start enjoying it more. This is when planning ahead is helpful especially for reoccurring events like exercising. It takes out you’re having to make a decision on whether you’re going to do it or not and once you get going, you’re glad you did it.
Lastly, sometimes you just do things that you don’t enjoy but you know you will feel better afterwards. In these instances really focus on what you’ll feel like when you’re finished. This is a very minor example but every morning I take a cold shower, and when I step in, it’s cold (duh)! But when it’s done I feel fantastic and invigorated. So I’ve learned to think about that specific good feeling when I’m taking the shower and I (almost) look forward to it.
How do you deal with doing things when you’re not up for it?
~ I have a couple of books to recommend. For David Sedaris fans, his latest book is Happy Go Lucky new essays about his life. This one has interesting stories about the pandemic and his father, and a very funny story about his teeth, and as always, you must listen to the audio version. Another is a classic by Agatha Christie The Murder of Roger Ackroyd which I think is one of my two favorites, the other one being And Then Their Were None.
I do enjoy a little royal watching and here is a book and a movie rec. The book is The Palace Papers by Tina Brown. Tina Brown is the former editor of Vanity Fair and The New Yorker and has written other books on the royals including The Diana Chronicles. It was interesting to learn about Camilla, The Duchess of Cornwall and more of the background goings on with the Harry and Megan exit. It wasn’t gossipy but seemed to be a well researched book with the just enough peeking behind the curtain details.
The other is a documentary called Elizabeth: A Portrait in Part(s). It’s broken down into different chapters of her life and it’s amazing how much of history she has lived through. A wonderful watch. Have a wonderful week!
